Life and times of today has empowered women, liberating them from centuries of oppression, financial inferiority and relative anonymity in building the social guidelines. More than any time in the history, our times have seen women rise as a force not just as a gender, but as a valid member of our race who have must have equal voice, rights and access to opportunities. This isn’t to ignore several occasions when the glass ceilings still exist. But they’re consistently being broken to positive applause.
With these however also come a new-found sense of non- accountability, arrogance even to the traditional aspects of marriage, relationships and the role of a woman in shaping the fortunes and direction of a family. Great thinkers have voice their thoughts to the tune of saying that a good woman is a surety of a good family being progressed to the society. Not only does she complement her spouse and help him grow but also educates the children, tends to the older generation and in the process turns around the entire cultural edifice around which a family and a group of people might revolve. The converse of course, is true to. Women today need a clear picture of what the role of a husband is, and how they may relate to them as their spouse and partners. While significant social changes in the past few decades have played the liberation card to hilt and to such widespread effect that defining ‘roles’ is an idea which is as repugnant as they come. Women of today feel they stand to lose their identity and their freedom if they adhere to some type of “outdated standard” in playing wife, mother and beloved member of a family structure.
The unique responsibilities of a wife make her role a far more challenging one than many corporate offices can offer. A woman is not only equipped to handle the toughest of them emotionally, but they are streets ahead physically too, a feat of endurance most men would struggle to match.
The loving, servant leadership role as emphasized upon a husband in traditional family structures, provides a perfect counterpoint and a good marker on how a good wife can make all the difference in a relationship, making it stronger.
#1: Help to your husband. This is a call to all wives to become the hand which guides their husband in times of strife and supply, in times of joy and joust. By being a helper, you don’t need to feel the inferiority complex or being burdened with responsibility.
#2: Respect your husband. Every man needs a bit of affection and hand-holding. The image of a strong, macho man who is independent, invulnerable, self-sufficient and unaffected by minor emotions is a myth. As a man there are several needs which establish his existence with respect to the opposite gender like:
- Confidence in his existence as a man
- Companionship from a woman
- To be wanted and needed as a partner
- To be listened to
As a wife, you are not supposed to afford curtsies to your husband in reverence but love him, notice him, honor him, prefer him, regard him as your able partner and esteem him. Valuing his opinion, wisdom and character, affording leeway to his mistakes, appreciating his commitment to you, meeting his needs is what adds up to this role of a woman.
Believing, encouraging and fueling ambitions of a woman adds up to making the relationship being set on strong ground rules and helps every person grow in the process. It is an education only the best of women, only a good wife can impart.
#4: “Submit” to the leadership of your husband. A mere mention of the word “submission,” can invoke unprecedented rancor, anger or even hostility from many women. It is almost a controversial, personal affront to their identity. But it needn’t be thus. And it certainly must not suffer such indignity and conceptual debate and misunderstanding. While there are plenty of egotistic, arrogant men who still live in the medieval times of trying to put women down as inferior to them in some way, there are also plenty of women who believe the word submit is immediately tied to losing their identity and becoming the “non-entities” in the marriage. Perhaps a bigger fear (and not without reason) is that submission can lead to abuse and unfair treatment.
In reality, submission neither means blind obedience on the part of the woman, nor that is she supposed to question nothing, give no suggestions, get pregnant and handle the kitchen. A wonderful passage from Bible actually recommends that: Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them (Colossians 3:18-19). While the wives must consider the husbands as their heads, much like Christ himself was the head of the church – the love must be a two-way street where Christ was ready to give himself up for the cause. Husbands, at all times must protect and cherish their wives as such. Such a servant leadership is the base for relationship for submission of wife to the marriage and husband.
#3: Love your husband. Love in marriage, both physical and emotional – is yet another very important role of a good wife. A wife knows how to soothe a husband, meet his needs and demands without losing herself in the process. At the same time, the lack of love and outreach from a wife can make her spouse feel alienated and depression in isolation.
Marriages are built on two souls working together, and the role of a wife in keeping it all together can’t be overstated. The husband may be the titular head, but the wife provides the heart. Together, they work the magic of a perfect relationship.