From comic books to Mills and Boon novels, every girl dreams of an ideal husband who is tall, good looking and has the most amazing qualities of sweeping her off her feet. In real life however, men come all kinds of shapes and sizes (puns intended!) and no insignificant range of emotional intelligence and perceptiveness for making a lasting relationship. So what are the best qualities which a woman should desire in her ideal husband material guy?
We try to put together a few things which every husband-to-be needs to imbibe:
- Easy personality – Every girl wants a man who looks and smells good, but even more a man who is easy on words and treating people. Arrogance, cocky or propensity to show off superiority complex is historically ingrained in the male ego as the gender who is supposed to take control. However, there’s a fine line between being sure of oneself and being obnoxious. Nobody likes an arrogant, unpleasant person. The behavior needs to extend to their wife, her family and friends. It is the personality which wins over people despite religious, social or status difference.
- Loyal: Trust and loyalty beget trust from your partner. Being faithful to your partner and respecting the vows are critical to the strength of a long-lasting relationship. There is no guarantee that marriages or relationships will last, but a good husband takes care of a woman he has once called wife regardless of the survival of the relationship. While the woman takes care of family, motherhood and the home, it is an honorable thing for the man to ensure that resources and infrastructure, feeds the family and keep the family together.
- Responsible and Reliable – a good husband is a man who is responsible for your family and wife, never shirks the pressures and problems and remains supportive. A wife always craves a husband who doesn’t belittle her position in the family, and complements her in life and profession. A good husband is the best friend and a soul mate the wife can rely on to ride the tough times in a relationship.
- Communication – Talking to your significant other is vital for any relationship, and a good husband needs to both express in actions and words that he loves his wife. Time and again, doubts and insecurity creep into the best of relationships. At other times, the busy schedules limit the interactions. A phone call, an impromptu lunch or movie date and expressing gratitude for the woman who contributes in keeping your home together never goes amiss. Equally, it is important to be able to respectfully disagree with viewpoints of your wife instead of turning it into a bitter argument. A good husband is given to being an avid listener to his wife’s complaints. Women cannot resist a man who understands her feelings, moods, attitude, values, likes and dislikes. A good sense of humor is the perfect cherry on top. Most of all, a good man doesn’t resort to showing his temper by violence. Breaking things, or over-ruling the opinion of the wife is summarily harmful to a good relationship.
- Sensitive and flexible: Once the charming young lady you fell in love doesn’t quite remain the same with as years go by. Neither does she look the same, nor does she behave the same, bogged down by the pressures at , taking care of children, financial constraints etc. Give her the freedom she craves, let her relax at times by taking work off her plate, and show her you still cherish her as much. If she needs to go for a girls night out, or a spa session, don’t doubt her intentions. A man needs to understand that your wife is also a woman first. And be flexible to change in her mindset, her needs and her mood swings. Treating her as an equal and helping her manage the household chores, familial needs etc. gives her the space she deserves.
- Respect: A good husband never chooses to humiliate, strike, shame or otherwise harm his wife in regardless of public or private setting. They watch what they say and ensure that they afford their significant others the respect they deserve. Treating her with respect in front of others enhances his own image in the eyes of the partner and imparts valuable life lessons to the children as well. Even while taking important decisions or a simple thing like having some friends over, a good husband respects the opinion and privacy of the wife.
- Judgment and Emotional Baggage: Men have as much emotional baggage from past relationships, rough childhood or previous interactions and backgrounds. But bringing them into a relationship is a sign of weakness. Praising previous wives, ex-girlfriends or mothers in front of your present companion is to knock her confidence down and make her insecure. You may appreciate some qualities in people you’ve been with, but you have chosen your present wife to be the person with, build your life around. Keeping that comparison away from your present is the sign of a gracious man. Celebrate the difference your wife offers.
- Protective – no matter how much the gender equality and equations have changed, a wife always seeks a form of protection and security from the husband. A strong woman has her hidden moments of weakness and a husband must make an effort to be the comforting, protective shield around her. You don’t need to have rippling muscles, but strength of character and conviction that you would always be around to hold her.
- Love and Sex: Display of love and affection to her as often as possible is something every woman is a sucker for. If that attention is temporary route to get to bed, your wife is going to notice the underlying insincerity. Notice her subtle changes; appreciate her qualities ever so often, despite the length of relationship. A wife needs you to notice when she gets that new dress, a new haircut or makes any changes to please you. She likes to be pampered inside and outside the bed. In many ways, they are much like over grown babies who constantly need care. They however, have their choices and likes. A husband must care and keep note of her special preferences and surprise her at occasions. Keeping her happy in the bed, being experimental – showing how often you relish a new sexual position or simply praising her presence as a partner physically makes her confident about her appearance and ability to love and be loved.
To be a good husband is a responsibility which goes beyond merely uttering a few good words and taking her out on a date. Acknowledgment and efforts like above can go a long way in forming a strong bond of marriage. You may not have all the good qualities of an ideal husband, but the efforts always show.