How to Connect Emotionally With Your Partner
Connecting emotionally with your partner is crucial in your relationship. Emotional connection is when one is able not to be present only physically but also emotionally. We are humans after all and we all yearn for love and connection since the day we were born. Usually when a quarrel happens, beneath all the harsh words lies a desire to reach out to their partner because they feel that they are losing their partner. One of the reason for insecurity is also because of the lack of connection. Most individual would feel insecure in their relationship. When insecurity happens in a relationship, quarrels and disagreement is bound to happen and what seems a minor thing would become an issue. Do you feel insecure in your relationship? In this post we discuss on the lack of emotional connection and how to overcome them.
Lack of Emotional Connection
When there is a lack of emotional connection, insecurity happens. When your partner is angry with you, he/she is actually asking for assurance, assurance that you still love and care for him/her like before. The anger is a sign of protest against a lack of connection. They are actually crying out “do you still love me?” “am I losing you?”.
So how do we connect emotionally with our partner? Take time for HTHT or heart-to-heart talk. HTHT is where you put away all earthly distractions by just focusing on the conversation with your partner. Make it a point to switch off your phone and forget about all your work and personal problems. So how should the conversation go? Remember the time when you first started dating where you talk about almost anything under the sun? Let the conversation flow and it is important not to talk about existing relationship problem but questions should be more future orientated such as asking the following questions:
- How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?
- Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not?
- How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
- Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
- If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?
- How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
- Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?
- How will you support my hobbies?
- How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?
- Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?
From the above questions , you would able to understand your partner on a deeper level and connect with them. During the conversation, do not impose any personal values of yours into your partner and try not to be judgmental. Have an open mind and clarify should you are unclear of what your partner is saying as that shows you are listening and connecting with him/her.
By having HTHT you and your partner will feel connected emotionally and when that happens your partner will feel secure thus resulting in a healthier relationship. Like any other things in life for it to be successful we need to put in effort and relationship is one of them.
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